Chapter 7

The next few days pass by slowly. I spend most of my time with Edwin, feeling horrible ever minute of it. When I can get away, Chris and I are together. He takes me to random places in a town or two away. I love every minute of it, no matter where he takes me.

Christmas Eve day is hectic. Amber and I are having a party tonight in celebration. We spend the entire morning with the boys cleaning our basement up. We dust and vacuum and decorate. We set up a little tree in one corner where all our presents for our friends sit.

When we finish, we all grab lunch and then Amber and I steel away to get ready for the night. The two of us are dressing nice since we are the hostesses. Amber has a simple green sweater dress that goes down to her thighs and I have a golden halter neck dress that flows down to my knees. We do our hair and make-up and finish just in time for the first guest to arrive.

The boys had finished setting up the basement for us. Amber gets the door and I head downstairs to double check everything real quick. All the lights are off except the Christmas lights we strung along the basement walls. I flip on the music and walk over to sit next to Edwin.

He kisses my hair and whispers in my ear, “You look gorgeous, like always.”

“Thanks.” I say, smiling at him. When I look back towards the stairs, I see Amber walking down with Chris following close behind. My smile falls from my face for an instant and is replaced just as quickly with an even bigger smile. I fight the urge to run over to him and kiss him. Instead my hand jumps to my neck where his necklace rests against my chest.
He sees me put my hand there and grins wide. I stand up and flip back my hair.
“Hey,” he says
I feel Edwin put his arm around my hip and Chris’s smile falls.
“Hey, Chris.” Edwin shakes his hand.
“Hello. You guys ready to party?” He says keeping his cool.
“Heck ya,” I say in excitement, “ya know I am going to go greet people.”
I walk away without another word and walk up the stairs. I feel someone’s hand touch mine for a short moment and turn my head. Chris is grinning at me.
“I couldn’t help myself you look so beautiful,” He whispers in my ear and I walk towards the door pretending to be un phased by what just happened.
“Thank you, did you hear the rumors going around?” I whisper to him.
“Hey, hope you have fun at my party,” I say to a friend.
“Ya, I am ignoring them though,” he whispers to me.
“What do we do about them,” I whisper back.
“Keep ignoring them. Hopefully they will go away,” He tells me.
Chris and I greet people until it seems as though everyone arrives and we go downstairs. Amber has turned up the music even more and everyone has started dancing. Edwin sees me and runs to grab my hand. I look back at Chris as Edwin leads me to the group of people dancing.
“Dance with me!?”
“Of course!” I yell over the music.
I let the music take me but look over at Chris and his face makes me miss a beat. It is broken inside in out. You could tell he was holding something in and so was I. We are both holding in the truth. We are both holding in our feelings. We are holding in our urge to be with each other. I mouth a ‘I’m sorry’ to him.
“What’s wrong?” I hear in my ear.
I notice I have stopped dancing.
“Oh sorry,” I say and dance really hard like nothing is bothering me.
After a few more songs, Edwin pulls away from me. He has sweat on his brow and is breathing heavily. I notice Chris push off the wall and make a bee line towards me.

“I’m really tired…” Edwin pants. I’m about to respond when Chris cuts in.

“Would you mind if I take over from here?” He asks politely.

“Knock yourself out…” Edwin tells him, gesturing at me with his arm.

He walks away towards the drinks, but I barely notice. Chris slips his arms around my waist and I hear him take a deep breath and exhale on my neck. Is closeness combined with the scent and feel of him send shivers down my spine. I lean into him and our bodies move as one. He is the only other person in the room to me. I hear him moan softly, almost inaudibly, behind me and I smile… knowing he wants to do more then just dance with me. I want so badly to feel his lips against the skin on my neck.

We dance harder and my heart beat picks up even more speed. Soon, I’m gasping for breath and I need to stop. I pull from Chris reluctantly and turn to face him. I smile at him and see he is just as out of breath as I am. “Thanks” I mouth and as I walk away, I feel his fingers brush my hand ever so gently. I gasp a little but manage to keep my face straight and continue walking.

I walk up stairs, giving Edwin the one minute sign as he shoots me a questioning look. I go to our upstairs bathroom and take a deep breath after I’m safely locked inside. I push my hair out of my face and stare at the face in the mirror. The girl I saw was a cheater and a liar… not the good girl I’ve known all my life.

I grab the hair tie from my wrist and tie up my hair, not wanting to deal with it anymore. I splash some cold water on my face, careful not to smudge my eye make-up. Once I look semi decent again I head back to my basement.

“You okay?” Edwin asks, wrapping me up in his arms when he sees me return.

“Yeah, just needed to cool down is all.” I say, letting out a sigh of what I hoped sounded like relief.

The party continues and everyone has a blast. Secret Santa is a blast, with some very odd five dollar gifts being exchanged. I end up with a huge candle and Edwin gets a deck of cards. By the end of the night, I’m having such a good time I forget about not being with the one I love.

“This was amazing!” Claire squeals, hugging me as she goes to leave.

“It really was.” Chris tells me, stepping up and hugging me after Claire leaves. I squeeze him just a little tighter and hold him close to me just a fraction of a second longer then everyone else, not ever wanting to let him go.

“Thanks.” I smile.

Amber, the boys, and I are taking turns saying goodbye to people and cleaning up the basement. Our friends were all pretty good about not spilling anything, but there are cups of pop and plates of pizza all over the place.

Once everyone is out and the basement all cleaned up we say goodnight to our parents and head to our room.

As soon as I close the door behind Amber and I she states, “I saw you with Chris tonight.”
“And?” I ask wondering what she thought.
“You guys look so cute together. You too just fit… but…” Her face looks defeated, like she didn’t know exactly how to tell me I was a fool for dancing with him.
“I know, I know I am marrying Edwin, but I am falling for him Amber! I just can’t help myself! I feel like a cheater!” Tears start to fill my eyes.
“Hazel, you can’t fight the way you feel. This is a really tough situation.”
“Ya”
It is left at that. She comes and sits next to me and gives me a shoulder to cry on. We both stay like that until we start to fall asleep then we both go to bed. I slip into a deep sleep, forgeting the fact that Christmas is in the morning.
I am running in a forest. To where, I don’t know but I am running. I see someone in the distance and run faster. As I get closer I see it is Chris and I run even faster. I get to him and he takes my hand. We are all smiles. Suddenly his smile falls and turns to a hurtful frown. Tears start to fall from my face and he just shakes his head. He lets go of my hands and walks away. I call after him but no answer. I yell even more and fall to my knees. I feel as though my world is crashing. Everything is spinning as I scream even more…”
I wake up screaming and tears are falling down my face. Amber runs to me and hugs me.
“Its ok, just a dream.”
“A dream that may become reality,” I say in between sobs.
“What happened in your dream?”
“I ran after Chris and he walked away. I called for him, but he did not answer. He was gone.”
“Aww, that is a nightmare,”
She hugs me a couple of moments longer then leaves me to try to fall back asleep. I stay awake, not wanting the dream to come back. I don’t want that dream to ever come true, but it may. What is going to happen when I can’t kiss him anymore because I am married? What if Edwin finds out what I am doing? I can not stay away from Chris, but I have a duty to my family. Don’t I?
“Hazel?” I hear my name whispered in my ear as gently fingers brush my hair from my face. It feels like I have just fallen asleep after my nightmare.

“Hmm?” I groan, rolling over and stretching.

“Good Morning.” The voice says again and I realize its Edwin’s.

“Morning…” I respond automatically, still waking up.

“I have a surprise for you.” He tells me, gently moving the covers from me. He takes my hand and helps me stand. I’m still groggy, so I cling to him for a minute until I’ve steadied myself. When I’m okay, he leads me by the hand to our front door. As he flings open the front door he calls, “Merry Christmas!”

I gasp as I see a blue corvette sitting in our driveway with freshly fallen snow on the ground around it. There is a huge bow stuck to the top of it, just like you see in all the commercials. The whole scene looked straight from a magazine. I’m caught between crying at having such an amazing car and laughing at how ridiculous it seems to be getting a car for Christmas. I immediately feel silly about what I got Edwin, but I hoped he didn’t mind that I didn’t pay thousands of dollars for it.

“Oh thank you!” I gush, finally remembering how to speak. I throw my arms around Edwin’s neck and kiss him. He laughs at my obvious excitement and pushes me back, jingling the keys for me to take.

I grab them and run to my car like a little kid. I run my hand along the shiny paint and hold my breath as I get inside. I notice that it is a convertible and I squeal in delight. I run my hand delicately, lovingly along the interior. I absolutely love this and I couldn’t wait to show it off!

When I’ve had my fill, I walk back inside locking my car behind me. Everyone has moved to the living room near our tree and I join them, taking my place next to Edwin.

“Ready for some presents?” My mom asks. We all nod as she gets up and starts passing out the gifts from under the tree.

We are all laughing and having a good time with gifts and such. All six of us were still in our pajamas and we would stay that way for most of the day. The boys cook breakfast once we were had opened all the presents. Mom, Amber, and I clean up all the wrapping paper and straightened up the living room while we wait.

“Breakfast!” My dad calls and we all head to the kitchen for a huge breakfast.
We all eat breakfast. We are all really loud and laughing, until I hear something that reminds me of my nightmare. That then reminds me of Chris. I feel what happened in the nightmare weighing on me like it really happened. I have to fight back the tears and I just stare at me food.
“Can I please be excused?” I ask randomly.
Everyone stops talking and just stares at me in a confused faces.
“Sure honey,” my mom says.
I get up without another word and head to my room. I close the door and lock it behind me. Flipping open my phone I dial Chris’s number. He picks up immediately.
“Hey, merry Christmas!” He yells in my ear.
“Merry Christmas…” I mumble to him.
“What is wrong?” You can hear his voice change.
“I had a nightmare last night.”
“It’s just a nightmare Hazel. It’s not going to come true.”
“I know. I just wanted to call to make sure it didn’t.”
“Oh so it was about me?”
“Ya…”
“What happened?”
“Um, you left me and never wanted to see me again.”
“Hazel I could never not want to see you again.”
“But, what happens when… I’m married”
He signs and the phone is silent.
“I don’t want to think about that, I just want to spend the time I have left with you right now.”
“Me too, but what about when…”
“Hazel, let’s not think about that… please?”
“Ok… when can I see you next?”
“Now?” He asks, hope thick in his voice.

“Uh, sure… well… give me 20 minutes to get ready? And I’ll come get you.” I smile.

“What? You got a car?!” He exclaims.

“Yup.” I say excitedly. “Christmas present from Edwin.”

“Damn… The boy must have some money…” Chris mumbles, a hint of jealousy in his voice.

I lower my voice and say, “Awe, Chris… I liked your gift better… a lot better… if that makes you feel any better…”

“Really?” He asks softly.

“Yes, much much better!” I tell him.

“Alright.” He amends, “I’ll see you soon then.”

We hang up and I get dressed in a hurry. I rush downstairs and then calm myself. I ask my parents if I can go show a couple friends my new car. They agree but only because I promise to be home within the hour since we were leaving for my family’s house then.

I breeze out the door and into my new car. I take a deep breath of that new car smell before starting the engine. I flip through the radio channels as I take off towards Chris’ house. He doesn’t live very far and I pull up in his driveway a few minutes later.

I turn off the car and remind myself to breathe as I walk up to his front door. I ring the door bell and I hear some hushed voices from inside. Seconds later, Chris is walking through his front door.

“Hey.” He says, looking a little tired. I glance back inside and he notices. “You heard that?”

“Well… I heard something…” I admit. “But I couldn’t understand anything…”

“Mom and I… disagree on some things.” He tells me, his expression a little pained.

“Awe… I’m sorry.” I say, as I follow him to my car.

He stops as he looks up to see my new car. “Damn!”

I laugh nervously, “What?”

“_This_ is the car he bought you?!” He exclaims.

“Yeah…” I admit sheepishly.

“Sheesh… the boy does have some money then.” Chris says as he gets in on the passenger side.

I just nod as I move around to the other side of the car and get in.

“So where to now?” I ask, turning on the car to keep warm.
“Let’s just go to the lake. I can be with you long,” He tells me with a frown on his face.
“Neither can I. Ya, lets just do that.”
My hand reaches over to put the car in drive and his hand touches mine. I heart skips a beat. He grasps it hard.
“I have wanted to hold your hand terribly,” He looks into my eyes.
I get lost into his and my feelings start to overcome me again. His other hand strokes my cheek and that sets me off. I reach over and his lips meet mine. He kisses me back and we both grin wide.
“Let’s go,” I say.
His hand is on top of mine when I put the car into drive. Chris shows me the way until we get to a familiar road, then I know the rest of the way. Half the time I loose focus to what he is saying because I can feel his hand stroking mine. I have to try really hard just to focus on the road. Its even worse when he decides to look at me. I huff in frustration because all I want to do is get lost in his eyes.
“What is wrong?” He notices.
“Thank goodness we are almost there,” I say with a heavy sigh.
He laughs and we pull up to the lake. I get out of the car and he runs to grab my hand.
“Dork,” I laugh.
“True true,” He laughs back.
We walk up then stand there in silence looking over the lake. He lets go of my hand and runs over a distance. By the time I turn my head to ask him where he was going, a snowball hits my shoulder.
“Stop!” I yell.
He hits me again.
“Oh now your going to get it!” I laugh and make a snow ball.
“Bring it on!” He taunts me.
We laugh and throw snowballs at each other for awhile. Soon, I collapse on the ground in laughter, having just nailed Chris in the face my accident. He walks over to where I lay on the ground and shakes his head over me like a dog.

“Stop it!” I laugh.

“No!” He laughs back.

“Ugh.” I groan as I shield my face from the melted snow flying off his hair. He laughs at me some more and then stops to help me up.

“Here.” He says, offering his hands to me. I take them and he pulls me to my feet and then in his arms. He wraps his arms around me in a tight hug. I can feel the desperation underlying his happiness, knowing we can never really be together.

I sigh and lean into for a moment. I will myself not to cry and to hold back the tears that threatened to spill because of my uncontrollable desire to have him and no one else. I pull away from him and, with my voice and eyes layered with regret, I say, “I should be getting home…”

“I was afraid you’d say that at one point…” Chris responds, dropping his arms from around me but taking one of my hands in his as we begin walking towards my car. When we get there, despite the cold, Chris takes off his jacket and shakes off all the snow. I give him a questioning look and he answers, “I wouldn’t want to get snow in your brand new car!”

“Thanks, but it’s really alright… Shouldn’t do too much damage…” I tell him. He shrugs and puts his jacket back on before getting in the car. I get in right behind him and start the car immediately to get the heat going. I haven’t realized until just now just how frozen every inch of my body was.

As the heat flooded the car and heated my blood again, feeling returned to my limbs and with it, the pain of being so cold for so long.

“Here, lemme help.” Chris says, reaching over and taking my still numb fingers and wrapping his hands completely around mine.

“Thanks.” I say. We sit like this for a minute, him holding my hands and gazing into my eyes.

Once my hands feel warm again, he drops them and I start for his home. Along the way, we sing plenty of songs at the top of our lungs. We laugh and tease the whole way home. I am enjoying myself just so completely that I forget about who was waiting for me back home. It ends all too soon when we read Chris’ house.

“You could come in for a minute…. If you’d like…” Chris offers, suddenly looking really nervous.

I glance at the clock and figure I could spare some time. I answer brightly, “Sure!”

We get out of the car together. As we are walking to his front door, Chris warns, “My parents are a little… off… and my room’s a bit of a mess…”

I laugh lightly at the last bit. “No worries.” I assure him.

He drops my hand as he opens the door. Stepping inside he calls, “Mom, Dad, I’m home!”

“Okay, hunny!” A very feminine voice answers him.

“Let’s go upstairs.” He tells me, taking my hand again and leading me to a staircase. He leads me up and then right down a long hall, stopping at the last door. As he opens it, he says gesturing, “This is my room.”

“Your room is huge!” I gasp, walking in and looking all around.

The walls are all blue, with a huge window and window seat on the wall directly across from me. I take in his dresser to the right of me with random things thrown about it. Next to this is a nice desk with a cork board filled with papers on the wall above it. On the other side of the room is his huge bed with a blue comforter on it. On the bedside table are some more random things along with a box of tissues and an alarm clock. His closet door was open to reveal a huge walk in space.

He shrugs his shoulders and sits down on the edge of his bed. “It’s not bad.”

“You like the color blue?” I say playfully.

“It’s my absolute favorite color.” He answers smiling, his eyes watching me.

I nod and walk over to his window and gave out. His room looks out on a bunch of trees that formed the forest behind his house. The trees were all beautifully covered with fresh snow. The whole scene was simply breath taking.

“Wow… That’s gorgeous!” I gush, glancing back out the window before joining Chris on his bed.

“So are you.” He replies.

I blush a light red, “Thanks.”

I lie back on his bed and then almost instantly jump up.

“What?” Chris asks, looking startled.

“My jeans are all wet!” I exclaim, looking and feeling extremely guilty.

He laughs and stands up, pulling me close to him. “It’s alright.”

I sigh as I breathe him in, enjoying his closeness. When he pulls away I notice his clock. “Crap! I have to go!”

“Right now?”

“Yeah… I’m sorry, Chris. I’ll call you when I can.” I promise.

“Bye.”

“Bye!” I wave at him and take off down the stairs and out the door. I rush to my car and head home. I get home in less time then it took me to get to Chris’ earlier today. I slow myself down as I get out of my car back home. With deliberate slowness, I walk inside.

“I’m home!” I call.

My mom walks by, a very unpleasant look on her face. Her lips are pursed and her posture is tight. She tells me, “We are leaving in ten minutes. Hurry up.”

I nod and then escape the accusing glance she is giving me by rushing upstairs. Amber is in our room just finishing getting ready.

“What happened to you?!” She exclaims. “Fall in the snow?”

“Yeah, kinda.” I tell her, already pealing off my wet clothing. I put on a knee length black skirt and a new long-sleeve baby blue blouse. Amber shakes her head at me as I pull my hair out of its wet pony tail. I ignore her as I leave for the bathroom.

I run a brush through my blonde hair before getting out my hair dryer. I quickly dry my damp hair and tie it off to the side in a low pony tail. I return to my room and put on my basic make-up, cover up and eye liner.

“Come on girls!” My mom calls up the stairs.
I take one more look in the mirror and my necklace flashes. A sudden thought hits me. I forgot to give Chris his gift! I flip open my phone and text Chris:
I 4got 2 giv u ur xmas gift! I am so sry!
I run down the stairs and immediately get a text back.
No prob =)
I smile.
I will call u when I get home and then I will come 2 ur house.
k =)
I smile again and put on my jacket. The whole time I am at my grandmother’s house all I can think about is Chris. I can’t wait to see the expression on his face when he sees his gift.
My family is all crowed around Edwin and Ashton questioning them about England and how rich they are. I fidget up and down the whole time and open my gifts from the rest of my family really fast. Every half hour feels like two hours. When we finally get into the car to go home, I grin wide. The car ride home feels extra long and I crank up my ipod to drown everything out. I then flashback to all the times me and him sing in the car together. I smile again and finally we arrive inside the house. I run to my room without a word and call up Chris.
“I’m home and now I’m on my way!” I yell into the phone.
“Whoa! Ok,” he laughs.
“See ya soon” I say in a sweet voice.
“Can’t wait,” he says and I hang up.
I open my door and there is Edwin standing in the doorway.
“What’s up?” I say.
“Going somewhere?” He questions.
“Ya, I forgot to give my friend her gift.” I lie.
“Oh, well be back soon,” he smiles and kisses me on the cheek.
He walks away and I pound down the stairs almost missing a step.
“I’m going out to give a gift to a friend that I forgot about!” I yell to my parents.
“Ok, but…” I hear something muffled as I shut the door and unlock my car.
I look around and it’s pitch black. I open my phone and check the time. It’s nine thirty, oh well. Going into my car, I start the car, and turn on the heat. Looking in the back seat, I see the gift that I had forgotten before. I shake my head. Driving quickly to his house, I sing loudly to some Christmas music as if Chris is there singing along with me. I pull up the drive way, I grab my gift and walk to the door. Just before I knock, the door opens and Chris grins wide.
“Hey,” he sounds out of breath.
“Hey,” I grin back.
“Come in,” He says and takes my hand.
He leads me to his room and shuts the door.
“Here you go!” I say in excitement and hand him his gift.
He tares open the wrapping paper to reveal a photo in a frame. It’s a picture of me and him from the time we went to that store in the village. We have our silly hats on and our silly faces.
“This is amazing! It’s us from that trip to the village.” He says laughing.
“Ya,” I laugh back.
“Thank you so much, it’s so thoughtful.” He sets it on his bed and kisses me lightly.
I feel his kiss explode inside of me, in every inch of my body. Every time his lips touch mine, it feels like the very first kiss all over again. Time stops moving and there is only him and me, nothing else matters. I take half a step closer to him, pressing my body against his. He wraps his arms around my waist and I bring my hands up and wrap one around his neck and the other through his hair.

Suddenly, his kiss changes into something else. I can feel his greed and longing in his kiss. My body automatically responds to his change. I push myself harder against him as his lips move greedily against mine. I move my one hand and rest it against his chests, feeling his racing heart beneath my palm. He wraps one arm tighter, shifting my shirt so he is touching the skin on my waist. The feeling of his skin on mine sends shivers down my spine, and a small, almost inaudible moan of pleasure escapes my lips.

He hears me and slowly, almost cautiously, parts my lips with his. He slips his tongue in my mouth, brushing gently against my lips first. I let my tongue dance with his. My heart rate is speeding out of control. I have never gone this far with someone before and I am extremely nervous. He doesn’t seem to notice my totally lack of experience as my body is responding to his without any conscious thought from my brain.

“Chris?” A voice calls out, knocking on the door. Immediately, we take a step back from each other and I turn to look out the window because I know my face is all flushed. Seconds later, his mom opens the door. “Oh! I didn’t know you had company…”

“It’s ok.” Chris tells her. I take a deep breath to calm my heart and turn to look at his mom. I smile a small smile, trying not to look guilty of anything.

“Hello!” She exclaims, extending her arms to me. “You must be Hazel?”

“Yeah…” I answer, hugging her in return and making a mental note to ask Chris how she knew me.

“Chris talks about you all the time. It’s nice to finally put such a beautiful face to an equally beautiful name.” She says, stepping back from me. I feel my face blush and mumble thanks. “Well, I’ll leave you two alone now.”

She leaves and Chris closes the door behind her. I sit on the bed and look at him, an amused smile on my lips. “So you talk about me a lot?”

“Well… not a lot… but I guess I’ve mentioned you here to there…” Chris mumbles, looking really embarrassed.

I giggle, and stand and wrap my arms around him, “It’s cute you tell your parents about me.”

“Really?” He asks me doubtfully.

“Mhm.” I nod. He wraps his arms around me again and looks into my eyes. Once again there is no one else in the world. I am loving the way he is just to tall where I need to stand on my tiptoes to reach his face, and the perfect way our bodies fit together, and the feel of his arms around me…
“Hey Chris?” I ask, breaking our staring spell.
“Yes,” he answers sweetly.
“Will you be my maid of honor?”
His facial expression changes to shocked.
“What?” He asks in confusion.
“You are my closest friend. This will give us a chance to spend more time together. I don’t want anyone else to do it but you. ”
“You want me to be at your side when you marry the guy you’re going to spend the rest of your life with?”
He knows just how to stump me.
“I want you to be my maid of honor. I know this is hard, but please do this for me?”
He takes a heavy sigh and there is a moment of silence. He looks into my eyes again.
“Ok, I’ll do it. I don’t have to wear a dress right?”
I laugh, “No, you don’t.”
I kiss him, “Thanks Chris, you are amazing.”
“How can I say no to you anyway?” We both laugh.
Turning off the car, I get out and walk into the house. Quietly I sneak upstairs and close my door. I take a sigh and smile. I almost completely forget that Amber is sitting on her bead looking at me suspiciously.
“Where have you been?” She asks with attitude in her voice.
“With Chris, I gave him his Christmas gift and told him I wanted him to be my maid of honor.”
Her expression changes to a smile, “Oh and why didn’t you tell me you were going to pick Chris as your maid of honor instead of Claire?”
“Chris is a better friend of mine,” I say with a wide grin.
“Oh, I am sure that is the only reason,” She says sarcastically.
“It is,” I tell her.
I hear a light tap on the door and then it opens. Edwin and Ashton walk in. Ashton comes over to Amber’s bed and starts to kiss her. I turn my head to Edwin. I must cover up any emotions for Chris.
“Hey,” I say and hug Edwin.
“You were gone for a long time, I missed you.” He says and I hide my wince.
“I just went to tell Chris I want him to be my maid of honor,” I explain. At least it’s the truth.
“Oh, a guy maid of honor. That is interesting, but anything you want.” He tells me.
I smile at this. He cares about what I want. He glances over to Ashton who is all over Amber.
“Hey, I thought you only wanted to say goodnight to her.”
They stop kissing.
“Goodnight,” Ashton tells Amber.
“Goodnight,” Amber says to Ashton and kisses him again.
Edwin turns to me. He looks into my eyes and his arms wrap around me. He comes in closer and I try not to hesitate. His kisses me hard and keeps kissing. I force myself to kiss him back. Like with Chris, I put my hand in Edwin’s hair. Edwin’s kiss becomes more intense. His lips begin to open and I wince. No, please don’t. His tongue enters and traces the roof of my mouth. Suddenly he stops kissing and looks away.
“I’m sorry.” He says in a hurt voice as he looks at the ground.
“Sorry? For what?”
“For doing that to you. I should have made sure you were ready.”
He walks out of the room and I stand about to break. Chris would have moved in and he did. I sigh and sit on my bed. I grab a pillow and throw it at Amber and Ashton. That takes out some of my anger.
“Hey,” Amber says loudly to me.
“It’s ok. I should go anyway,” he starts to standup, “Goodnight,” He tells her again.
“Goodnight,” she repeats.
He walks out and closes the door.
“So,” Amber says, “Why didn’t you tell me you wanted him to be your maid of honor? What did he say when you told him you wanted him to be your maid of honor? Was he sad? Was he happy? Did he want to do it?”
I laugh, “Because I didn’t know how you would react. He was mixed but I convinced him.”
Amber nods at me respectively, but I see the suspicion in her eyes. Quietly, I ignore this and change for bed. I lay awake on my pillow long after our light has been off. I think of the amazing sensation I felt when Chris touched me and how there was absolutely nothing behind Edwin’s. I let these thoughts drift from my mind and new ones take over. I begin thinking about how much time I’ll get to spend with Chris now that he’s my maid of honor. It all seemed perfect.